Tell me… Who are you living for anyway?This obsession with people pleasing is really not useful when creating a life to be proud of. All the time spent worrying about how we are coming across, obsessed with the idea that somehow we can be successful and still be loved by every single person in the world. It is not possible and the earlier we learn that, the quicker we can get to our real life’s work.Too many people spend their whole life trying to keep their family happy, fitting into the idea that friends had of them and all the while, they keep themselves down as they try to fit into a box others have created for them.Are you tired of it yet?Here are some tips to become a person in service, rather than a people pleasing person.
Learn to Hear Your Own Thoughts
Too many people have learnt to stop listening to their intuition, their own thoughts, their own ideas. We grow up with parents who certainly mean well but impose opinions far too strongly on our developing psyche.
It is not that parents, friends do not love us. It is that they care sooo much for our safety that they forget that in order to grow, we must have free reign over our actions, we must bear the consequences.
We too must learn to take full responsibility for our actions and not seek to cower behind our relatives and friends. In business, it means we must hear our customers when they complain but learn to hear what our own thoughts and feelings say about the complaint. Separate the complaint about the service from feeling it is a complaint about us personally.
Learn to share your own thoughts and feelings
Learn to disagree when necessary. You may not agree with the direction your client wants you to go in. It is alright to say so. No need to get defensive about it. Just clearly state the way you feel about it. If they disagree with you, they are of course free to choose another supplier of your service who more closely aligns with their needs.
With relatives, use this statement frequently ‘How interesting!’ and really mean it. Every opinion is valid and being open to understanding may help you progress but even if it is not something you agree with, there is certainly no point getting annoyed and uptight about it.
Focus on respect
Respect for yourself by putting clear boundaries in place. Learn to respect yourself and your own values so you do not allow people to walk all over you in business or at home.
Respect for others means you do not overstep their boundaries as well. This also applies to your children. They may be smaller than you but learn to hear them out and respect their opinion. Treat others how you would want to be treated.